“In defense of men.” What a concept. This is completely bogarting something that my friend Sara said awhile ago, and I just wanted to add my two cents with my own rambling about it.
Not all men are inherent assholes. By the same token, not all women subscribe to this belief. However, in my experience, the woman who harbors negative opinions of the male of the species, does so because there is one (or even two) complete douchebag who really fucked her over in life. Yes, it’s a blanket generalization, and it sucks, but at least she has a reason to feel that way.
The downside is, when she does come across someone who’s not a total dick, she can’t even see him for what he is – a potentially datable gentlemen – and instead sees him as someone she can actually talk to, and be comfortable with. In other words, a girlfriend. Of course, this then leads us to the whole idea that only the jerk gets the girl. But given enough time, even the most heartbroken of women will recover from whatever butt-faced miscreant threw sand in her eyes, and be able to appreciate the guy she can actually get along with.
Furthermore, going off on my own personal tangent.. In defense of my man. If you are someone who believes if it walks, talks, and has a penis is must be the jerk of the century… please don’t make assumptions that my boyfriend falls into that category. Especially if you don’t even know him.
This past week, he and I have both been there for each other in the most important way. I went through a bit of an emotional breakdown last week. Work was stressing me out, I felt like everything I was doing was wrong. My personal life was making me crazy, felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything that I always expected I would have done by now, most notably wondering if a choice I made over four years ago was the right one, and how my life might have been different if I’d picked door number two. Anyway, I had said meltdown in his arms, and he didn’t do the patented male thing and immediately try to find a solution. Instead, he held me until I stopped crying, pointed out all of the things that I am doing right, and once I was calmed down, proceeded to cheer me up. In short, he did everything I needed him to do for me at the time.
A week later, it was my turn to cheer him up. I will not go into detail about what brought him down, because it’s his business. So on Monday, I went to his house, seeing him for the first time since my own breakdown, and pulled him into a hug, and asked how he was. His reply? “Better now.” Just the simple state of my being there was enough to make him start to feel better. But despite all of that, some Judgey Judgementalists feel the need to rain – nay, monsoon – all over this parade. Trying to tell me that he’s not as into me as I am into him, that it’s just biological. Come on. We’ve been through this before. My man is not an asshole. These kind of obnoxious generalizations are getting annoying. The person behind it may simply think that all dudes suck at life, and while there are certainly a large number who do, you need to start accepting that not all of them do. Deal.