Oh Wisconsin. I knew there was a reason I don’t like cheese. These morons… [Melissa shakes head sadly]. Donna Pinciotti would be out of Point Place in a heartbeat if she heard this shit.
So… we’ve already talked about how ridiculous an idea it is to specifically pinpoint single parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse, but now it goes a bit further. For starters, Sen. Glenn Grothman had one-upped himself by throwing women under the bus. He alleges that single parenthood is running rampant in these here parts: “There’s been a huge change over the last 30 years, and a lot of that change has been the choice of women.”
Oh yes… I’m sure all women just chose to be single parents. They sought out men who would die at young ages. They sought out men who would leave. Now, yes, I’m sure there are women who did choose to raise a child alone (I plan to do it in the next five years or so if I have to, as I may have mentioned in the past), but I find it very very very hard to believe that all of them chose this life, Senator.
That bill had a co-sponsor. Representative Don Pridemore. Don need pride himself no more. Dude’s stuck in a Mad Men fantasy. He thinks a single woman can take care of a family in some situations – but he thinks fathers are usually the disciplinarians and without that, “kids tend to go astray.” He has gone on the record as being opposed to divorce even in the event of a abusive spouse. He offers this piece of marital advice: “If they can refind those reasons and get back to why they got married in the first place it might help.”
In addition to being a complete idiot, Pridemore ignores the fact that men can be victims of abuse as well – and the fact that a poor quality marriage can be a contributing factor to child abuse.
Which means that if you, a victim of spousal abuse, decide to protect yourself and your children by getting the eff out of dodge and, it automatically means you are a child abuser, just by the act of becoming single. Ba-zing!
Pridemore’s attitude represents a gross and deep misunderstanding of the reality of spousal abuse. Once abuse begins it doesn’t just go away. Remembering why you fell in love with someone is not going to make them stop wailing on you. Power lorded over someone is not suddenly or easily relinquished, and that’s what abuse is about: power.
Existing in such a household is extremely unhealthy for a child. A boy who watches abuse can grow up to be an abuser; his opinion that women are meant to be beaten. A girl can grow up to be a victim; her own value underestimated, believing that a man should put his hands on her. That’s abuse, not single parenthood.
Luckily, health officials are all over this, like What the shit are you thinking, dude? Says Dr. Geoffrey Swain of the Milwaukee Health Department, “To the contrary one of the risk factors for child abuse and neglect is poor quality of marriage. Marriage actually has nothing to do with it, it’s the quality of the relationship that matters in terms of the child’s health.”
Was this sufficient enough to refute both of you?
Geniuses over there in the cheese state. Real geniuses.