I read this article today (the article, NOT the comments), by a guy who I think has given the most honest account of someone facing completely unexpected parenthood, and the entire internet is on his ass. They’re trying to vilify him for spending money on IVF and getting twins when they only live in a one-bedroom and have one child. Who cares about the one bedroom? He’s stressed over it, sure, but having two kids close in age in one room is not an issue. Clearly this couple planned to have a second child, let them pal around in their room until they got to be a little older, then look for something larger. The size of the house is not the issue.
“To say we’re excited would be an exaggeration. More truthfully, we’re pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful. Why regretful? Because we brought this on ourselves. This is what we wanted, so to speak.”
This guy is blunt and honest. As someone pointed out, it’s not the children they’re unhappy with (and I’m sure once they arrive, both he and his wife would rather die than wish either one away), it’s the situation. They were prepared to bring another child into the world, but instead they’re getting two. Have you ever thought you only had one load of laundry to do and realized it would have to be two? That’s only one afternoon that you’re losing. This is an entire life. Or else you just overload the washer and do one load anyway. That’s not an option here. It’s completely a case of ‘be careful what you wish for’ in the case of having two embryos implanted. Many people do it, and only one takes. That’s what they were expecting, instead, they got both.
As far as “hoping” for genetic issues… I didn’t read that as precisely as some did. It was a defense mechanism. Somewhere, they realized how horrible it sounds to people that they wish they could “reduce,” so they’re looking for a reason to justify the feeling.
I feel like this is one instance where someone who has no kids (and isn’t trying) doesn’t have a right to an opinion, myself included. I also highly doubt anyone with unplanned and unexpected children can say that they didn’t think, “oh shit,” even for a second. Will people who are tryingto have kids without success take this as a slap in the face? Of course, as they will any story about abortion or anything similar. However, their reproductive issues are not his or his wife’s problem. He’s nervous, he’s anxious.
However, this was a stark look into trying to plan a family and getting more than you bargained for. The calls for CPS to come take the kids are completely ridiculous. Never once did this man say that he or his wife are considering NOT raising all three of their children to the best of their abilities. They merely expressed a sinking feeling early on where ‘reduction’ may have been an option. I would rather see parents like this all over social media than parents who glorify their kids as if they’re the second coming.