Author Archives: Jessénia

About Jessénia

Jessénia Natalia Larcombe-Urban is a graduate of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis High School and NYU, where she is a member of Alpha Phi Zeta. The owner and president of Síren Call Records, Sénia has five children and one step son with her late husband.

Talking Dead with Ambrosia: Indifference


Warning: Spoiler Alerts
 If you are familiar with the Talking Dead, you know it talks about the episode that just aired, and since I’m posting here as if I’m in that conversation, clearly I will be talking about the episode.

Okay, so, taking a cue from Limasse’s post, I might not follow the previously set format either, but it seems like that doesn’t matter. The entire conversation seemed to center on just a few things, and that’s probably what I’m going to hit too. Here goes:

Carol. OMG. What? WHAT?!  A part of me had an inkling that something was going down when Rick selected her for the run. Granted, he had no one else out of our main cast to wake, but that could have been the chance to introduce us to more people from the Woodbury crew, or the other wanderers. The first episode is how we first got to know Bob, just from his actions during the run. So when Rick asked Carol. my first thought was, he’s gonna kill her out there. Then they were okay, so I let my guard down, and then boom!

I’m not sure this is the end of Carol though. She’ll be back. Maybe not until the end, but she’ll return. Pair up with the Governor, maybe? Chris Jericho brings up a great point that Carol didn’t fight it, that she didn’t beg to come back. I think it’s because she was done with Rick a long time ago. And the thing is, in that little interview with Andrew Lincoln, he’s right, she was the leader the whole time, just in a slightly less obvious way. She called a lot of shots, teaching, training, going out to take care of the water, pointing out issues and problems, and I think Hardwick is onto something with the idea that Rick was threatened by her.

There is definitely going to be a huge divide in the prison over this. I’m curious to see how Rick explains her absence. I think he’ll give a version of the truth. ‘Carol was responsible for Karen and what’s his nuts. She won’t be coming back.’ Not sure he’ll own up to the fact that he kicked her out. Also… I’ve been seeing some postings on Facebook that Daryl will be missing from at least two episodes. Maybe he goes off to find Carol?  As far as

This does leave things open for Michonne and Daryl now… and after reading Limasse’s points last week, I see it. They had a few flirty moments. And I do think that would be the ultimate irony, his original racist ass and her glorious ebony-skinned self. Plus, they are the two biggest baddasses who’ve softened up the most, particularly towards each other.

So let’s move on to Bob. Oh Bob. I can’t believe it was booze and nothing else in that bag. At least stuff meds in there too. That was crazy. The question is, was he an alcoholic beforehand, or was it watching everyone die that drove him to it? Tyrese isn’t really a loose cannon, he’s just going through some stuff. He needs his catharsis. I thought when he flipped out when he got out of the car that was it, but he’s still got a lot to work through. Rick went crazy when he realized Lori got eaten, Daryl got a little weird when he had to put Merle down. They’ve all had to deal with losing someone and they had a break because of if. Tyrese lost one person and has a sister he’s potentially going to lose.

Oh, and here’s a question to close with: The vet school was 50 miles away. When they were talking about heading back, they said it would take seven hours. So… they’re driving seven miles an hour?


The Zimmerman Verdict: Still Speechless


Between Limasse and myself, we’ve been struggling for awhile to come up with an appropriate response to all of this. Limasse has more legal background than I do, so she’s still furious at the prosecution’s terrible show, particularly how much evidence was not shown. I’ve seen the drafts here (I think there are 10) and they very quickly devolve into long rambling rants about incompetence.

I’m just still confused. The trial felt backwards. Martin seemed to be the one on trial, and I get it, defense was invoking that ridiculous Stand Your Ground nonsense. Defense put up their side, and prosecution poked holes all over the story. Zimmerman was clearly the initial aggressor.  This is why SYG is ridiculous. Person A is a threat to Person B, Person B ‘stands their ground’. Now Person A feels threatened and ‘stands their ground.’ Back and forth.

Robert Zimmerman, George’s sniveling, arrogant brother made the comment that Martin did not have a right to stand his ground. He said, “Trayvon had the right to go home.” Really guy? Isn’t that what he was trying to do?

I’ll leave the legalese post to Limasse, but for me, I’m just reacting emotionally. While I can admit that Zimmerman may have had a legitimate reason for the initial 911 call (there were recent break-ins by young black men), he definitely should have stayed in the damn car. What I did take issue with was the fact that he blatantly said he looked like he was up to something.

I think about my own kids. #3 always looks suspicious, mostly because he’s always daydreaming his ass off. He’ll be walking down the street, then he’ll just stop. Heaven forbid he’s talking on the phone, he just walks in a small circle like one leg is shorter than the other and he’s stuck… Given that Martin was on the phone and just strolling along minding his own (or, as Robert Z said, exercising his right to go home), he probably wasn’t in a hurry, he was just chillin’, but that made him look suspicious apparently.

It’s just too much.


Friends Sans Kids (Childfree vs. Childless)


I’m writing from a place of pretty intense emotion, so forgive me in advance when when some things don’t make sense. I have two major points to make: The subtlety of semantics, and the relationship between people with kids and people without.

First let me hit on the word choices: People who choose not to have kids refer to themselves as childfree, however other people (usually those with kids or those who want kids) refer to those people as childless. It’s pretty interesting, when you really stop to think about it, how we choose certain words and phrases and how much power is actually behind them. Someone who uses childfree feels that their life is complete without kids, and in fact, kids might be a burden in their life. But then the person who tells them that they’re childless, is projecting their own beliefs that life is somehow incomplete without kids involved. Until #1 came along, I was childless. My best friend, however, was childfree. And she remains that way to this day.

When we were 29 (no, I am not telling you how many years ago that was), she had to fight her doctor into tying her tubes. The doctor (a woman) gave her all kinds of push-back about how she might change her mind, she’s still young, et cetera. T knew what she wanted, and her then-husband did too (their split had nothing to do with kids, for the record), and she even faced the doctor down with the fact that a tubal ligation is reversible, although she hadn’t actually looked into it because she had no intention of reversing it. The doctor kept throwing out the term childless. T actually had to change doctors and was finally able to get the procedure when she was 30. Why do so many people have a hard time accepting that some women truly do not want kids?

So, that’s that. Childfree and childless, while on the surface mean the same thing, are actually very different. Be careful how you use them.

 

Now… during all my childbearing years, T and I were always thick as thieves. I always had time for her, and she always – ALWAYS – had time for me. When I hear women with children bitching that their ‘childless’ friends have ditched them, how they never invite them to do anything, I always wonder if it’s really the other way around. You’ve all seen the pictures that go around facebook, about how ‘My idea of fun is no longer leaving the bar at 2am, dancing all night, etc, now it’s pillow forts in the living room, snuggling at 9pm with a cartoon’ or some other holier-than-thou thing. You know what? Yeah, it’s true, there were a few years where I really wasn’t able to do much of anything other unless it involved my kids, but there comes a point when all you want to do is have a night for you, and the people that you have always depended on to remind you exactly who you are.

So when T would invite me out to catch a new band, I would leave the kids with my husband and go out. I might not have been able to stay until closing time with her, but I was able to get some face time with her. When she would organize girls night out, I was there – and for those, I sometimes made it a point to stay out late. Let hubster do the heavy lifting. Now, I know there are single mothers out there, but you know what, there are babysitters. Not all of them are expensive. If you have cousins, nieces, nephews, etc, particularly if you babysat them back in the day, put them to work. Make it a point to get to know the younger people in your neighborhood. Be a little nosy and figure out who doesn’t go out a lot, because those are the kids who are going to be available when you need them. Expose your children to them so they’re not strangers.  Befriend them early, let them know your situation, they’ll be willing to sit for less than the “going rate” if they’re not total douchebags. I’ve done it for free on occasion. If your baby sitting money cuts into your night out money, big whoop. Meet at a friend’s first and pre-game, if you’re worried about being able to afford drinking money. If your friends are truly your friends, they’ll understand that you don’t want to bar-hop, that you just want to go to one bar because that’s all you can afford.

On the flip side, a third friend, R, never accepted any invitation to do anything that began after 7 pm. Not even to go to a movie. A movie? You can’t leave your child at home for two, maybe three hours max to come and sit on your ass with us in a theater?  Every time she wanted to get together, it was always with kids in mind. She’s say, hey let’s take the kids to this place on Saturday, maybe T can bring her nieces. Yes, T adores her twin nieces, but why should she have to procure some kids to be allowed to hang out? Oh, and T always felt like this was a dig at her worthiness. You are only allowed to join us if you have kids with you, you can’t come by yourself. Sort of the opposite of an adult-only party.

The thing is, maybe your childfree friends aren’t ditching you, maybe they’re just tired of always being turned down. What’s that line about insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome? (Which isn’t the actual definition, but whatever) T stopped inviting R to anything, eventually, and then R always got pissed off that “her childless friends never ask her to do anything anymore.”

My fellow parents: Your friends without kids can only take being turned down so many times before they just stop bothering. But pay attention: They attend every single birthday party you throw for your kids. They might spoil your kids as if they were their own. They celebrate every milestone with you. They’re there when you want a night out. Your childfree friend’s idea of fun isn’t sitting around with an Elmo party hat on watching a bunch of short humans pin the tail on everything but the donkey, but she does it because YOU asked her to be there. She does it because it’s what YOU want. But you’re the one who passes the subtle message that your life is more important than hers when you can’t be bothered to take part in anything she’s interested in. Compromising and doing things like meeting for dinner or lunch are one thing, because that’s something both parties have a mutual interest in. But when you are only inviting her to things that involve your kids (and then getting upset at the times she declines) and then declining all of her invites that involve just being yourself, an adult who is still her own person and not just a mother, the relationship becomes one-sided.

So like I said, yes, there were a couple years when I did fall a bit off the grid. #1 and #2 were born way too close together and I got a bit overwhelmed. I turned down pretty much everything T asked me to do, mostly because every moment the girls weren’t in my sight, I promptly fell asleep. We did a lot of lunches with babies in tow, we did a lot of hanging around her apartment for an hour at a time (many of which I’m guilty of being half-asleep though), but we tried. It wasn’t until #2 was nearly three years old that I realized T’s invites were coming less and less. I did get angry at first, but then I thought about it, and I realized there would be no point to her asking. It’s like when you have a Tupperware party or something along those lines. You know who to invite and who not to waste your breath on.

Once the girls were old enough to be less of a drain on my mental health, I was able to re-establish a lot of the fun times that T and I had enjoyed over the years. As I said, I’d suck it up and get dressed up for the club, even if I had to call it a night less than two hours in. But that was more about being a responsible adult than anything else. I knew I’d have to be up at 7am, so I knew I had to get to bed by midnight. It didn’t matter that I had to be up at 7 because of the kids. I’d made similar decisions years back when I had to get up for work early.

Why would I begrudge her idea of fun. She gets to do whatever the hell she wants because she can. And if she wants me to be a part of it, then I’m going to do what I can to be there. I know she absolutely hates the whole gift-opening part of kids’ birthday parties, all the kids screaming about what they got and how cool it is, or some other kid yelling about how much he wants it too (at least she’s stopped conveniently getting a phone call right when it starts, for which she has to go outside) but she’s there with the giant garbage bag grabbing the wrapping paper, because she knows how much I hate cleaning that shit up.  She manages a band, whose music she knows I don’t particularly like, but I still go to their showcases and important events because I know how much it means to her.

I’m probably rambling, but I just saw a rant on facebook from a parent friend pissed at her single, childfree friend over this. This parent friend is also one of those moms who’s entire facebook page is all her kids. Honestly, it’s so much about the kids that one of them could probably take the account over as their own when they get older and no one would notice. This woman clearly has no idea how much she’s lost herself in her kids. When you become a mother, motherhood should enhance your womanhood, not replace it. You’re still an individual, with you own interests, your own desires. Your idea of fun isn’t really a Dora marathon; it’s simply seeing your child happy. But your child isn’t going to be happy if you’re not happy, and I don’t see how you can be happy if you don’t have some semblance of a life of your own.

Maybe that makes me sound like a sanctimommy, but at least this sanctimommy has friends that aren’t my kids. And my facebook page has pictures of me.


Bad Girls Club Mexico: The Reunion


Alright everyone, it’s that time. You guys, it took three months for this to happen. We’re watching Part 1, 2, and 3 of this reunion. Bam. Limasse and I will be co-writing this one, as we’re sitting down to watch it together, mostly because I dared her to. I don’t know how we’re going to split this up. I usually just watch this with my mouth hanging open like an idiot, she has the snarky comments, so it’s likely I’ll just be writing whatever she says. Anything in quotes is from her, and this will kind of read like a half-assed transcript of our conversation.

And… ready? Go:

“Uuuuggghhhhhh. Yeah, I forgot how much I hated her.” About Julie.

Rima apparently has grown up a little bit. So that’s a good thing, right? Christina and Andrea, not so much. “But I like Andrea.” You only like her because she reminds you of [her friend’s name]. “Yeah probably.”

I can’t wait to see them all together.

“Yikes! I forgot Erika had that nose piercing. It just looks scary on her.”

When did Erika and Mehgan become friends? Looks like they haven’t grown up either.

For the record, Limasse and I have some very different opinions on our favorites. I like Ashley. I hope she learned to stand up for herself and to not let someone else fight her fights for her, but I think she was the most genuine in the whole house. However, the most -MOST- genuine were definitely Zuly and Natasha (of course the new ones) that we both like. I personally think it’s I’m a lot like Zuly (with the exception of sexual preference and that cool accent), and she’s a bit like Natasha. In fact, when Natasha first showed up, I was like, oh shit, it’s Limasse!

This is going to be so awesome.

“I’m still jealous of Falen’s style. And still sad that she turned out to be so fake. I was really counting on her.”

If Mehgan wasn’t so annoying, all Whitley-wannabe (did I just date myself with that?), she really would be very beautiful. Shame.

When do the reunions take place? Haven’t the girls seen the Julie-Falen hookup? Why should it be a secret that Rima and Ashley didn’t know? I’m so confused.

I feel like we should have been following these bitches on Twitter all along.

Right now, we’re just kind of watching this in silence. And remembering Tanisha and what the BGC used to be.

Ever wonder what’s with all the guys in the crowd at these reunions? Dudes that got dragged by their girlfriends? Gay guys? Brothers of the cast? Guys who thought they’d hook up with the cast?

And see, see? Tanisha thinks Ashley is the most genuine. “I never said she wasn’t.”

“Okay, why is she wearing a bra? Oh Andrea, what are you doing?”

The thing about Andrea and Ashley, is that they’re actually really a lot alike. I wonder how much being on a show like this changes these girls. We know from some of them, it makes them think they’re a full-on celebrity. Was Andrea always this full of herself? “Was Ashley? Look at her audition tape and her first few days compared to now.” She learned to stand up for herself, that’s different.

I’m actually right with Limasse laughing at all these white chicks with weaves.

“Seriously though, Andrea is half the size of all those chicks. They’re not that great for whooping on her. Although… she is going a little too hard here.”

Is Rima pregnant?

I do think it’s sad that these chicks can watch footage of themselves acting like that and smile and clap. I just once want to see someone on these reunions and be like, you know what? I’m nothing like that person, if I could do things over I would.

I do see a little bit of Rima nipple. And I giggled like a twelve-year-old boy.

WHAT! Zuly! I just called this. Someone to sit there and say she wished she’d done it differently. Another reason why Zuly is top of our list.

Laughing that Mehgan and Tanisha nearly have the same weave.

Falen and Mehgan… wow. Falen looked kind of crazy, right?

“I still want to know what happened to Christina. No one has that kind of anger for no reason.”

Another example of the random ‘between commercial clips’ that are in direct conflict with what else is going on. Falen’s got shaving cream for Mehgan, and Mehgan just sits there and jokes along with her about her hairy legs, and lets Falen put the cream on her leg. That’s like the kind of thing friends joke about together. Same thing happened in one of the episodes, the whole house was fighting, but then the random commercial clip of them all playing tag or something.

Holy fuck! Falen too! Talking about how ridiculous everything is. “YES!” (Limasse jumped up off the couch just now) “I knew it, I knew she couldn’t really be all up in all this bullshit!” But she is getting loud right now, despite having just said she’s a woman and shouldn’t be getting loud.

Okay… Now Limasse just jumped up again and ran in the kitchen, screaming ‘Wooooo!’ (pretty sure she just woke up one of my kids) Can you guess why? If you guessed that Erika just jumped on Julie and began a 10 punch (if you every watched wrestling, you get it), you’re right. We both have a similar stance on the fighting, it’s not ladylike, but every so often there’s that one… there’s that one. We called each other up to celebrate the beatdown that the Twins got in Vegas (was it Vegas?), and if we weren’t already watching this together, we probably would have done the same. What’s funny, is that it seems the entire cast is okay with this, as they’re all just sitting there looking bored. Even Falen just left the scene, as opposed to trying to jump in and stop it the way Julie did when Mehgan attacked her.

Does that mean that even Falen hates Julie? Lord, I hope so.

Wait. When did Julie become a declared bisexual? Also, what’s this trend with the long pointy nails? I hate it.

Also, I’m not gay, but Zuly, all prettied up, something about her going ‘If I want it I get it,’ was really hot. These bitches talking about how it wasn’t good, especially Rima, but yet at the time they were like ‘get it!’  Rima likes this shit (nothing wrong with it if she does!) so she needs to stop talking about how much she doesn’t.

Mehgan! Mehgan coming in with the apologies. Oh my God, what’s going on tonight? Well… three months ago. I’ve never seen so many people come so straight. Not only that, but one of the loudest mouths.

Ha. Yes, on one hand Tanisha is correct. Only the BGC alumna truly know what it’s like in that house, but really, some of us deal with this on small doses every single day.

Mehgan again! Bringing up Julie talking about Falen being broke. I think Limasse pointed that out awhile back, right? I’m liking Mehgan a little more and more as the reunion goes on.

How great was the multiple beatdown Julie got? Karma. Honestly, karma. And Tanisha talking about not kicking a girl when she’s down… didn’t Julie do that through the whole show? Especially coming from a place where she always got mocked as a child and a teen? Now does she remember how that felt? She doesn’t regret anything, but it taught her things that she needs to change about herself? Then, that means you regret what you did, duh!

The strippers were not attractive.

 

Final Thoughts:  Tanisha is and always will be the ultimate Bad Girl. One of the few who took her time in the house to actually grow as a person. “All the rest of these other broads can shut up.” Can’t stop being so happy that Julie got it from everyone. Phrase of the night: ‘Confessional Gangstas’ Christina needs to patent that shit. Matter of fact, I’m going on urban dictionary right now. I’ll add the link when it’s approved. Next season, Limasse and I will share “reporting” duties. We’re also pretty sure the youngest age of the upcoming Atlanta cast is 30.


In the Wake of a Tragedy: Bad Journalism


The absolutely, laughably horrendous reporting of yesterday’s tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary just makes me cringe. Almost everything that came out of it was wrong.

I want to preface by saying, of course the worst and most important part of what happened yesterday is that way too many people lost their lives. But I don’t think I should have to mention that without people knowing. I know it, we all know it, and if I have to point it out to you, then you’re a terrible person. The thing is: I don’t know any of the deceased or their families. I can’t cry and grieve over someone I’ve never met. I can be sympathetic and empathetic, I can be thankful that my own children are home with me, but the families will not know that, and it will make no difference to them. In addition, all of the grief in the world is not going to bring these children back to these parents. Therefore, I choose to be annoyed about something that can be changed.

I’m also going to take a quick soapbox moment and ask that people stop painting Adam Lanza as some total raving psycho that should have been medicated or institutionalized? Stop asking if anyone saw any signs. People are blaming the mom (because why not) for having guns (they were all registered to her) around a mentally unstable son.  He had a form of autism and stories are saying OCD. Some are saying Asperger’s (Just another thing to add to the list of inconsistent reporting). This is not something you can just pop a pill for and be okay. This is not something that you as a parent think, oh, my kid is autistic… better hide all the weapons in case he snaps one day. NO! STOP THAT! You can look back on his entire life, nothing is going to stand out as a “sign” that he would later go on a murderous rampage. Please do not lump autism or Asperger’s in with any kind of mental dysfunction that carries a disregard for human life.

Okay. Now… let’s get into the serious of ridiculousness that I as a media consumer was subjected to yesterday.

First there was a second shooter that was apprehended in the woods, who “looked right at one of the parents and said ‘I didn’t do this.”

Then they say the killer was Ryan, who’s Facebook page gets spammed all over the internet – which, by the way, exposed all the internet vigilantes. A friend of mine sent me the link to his page. I looked at it, I looked at his pictures, I looked through his photography page.  The whole time thinking that he was a good-looking guy, and he didn’t seem to have any weird likes, there was nothing strange about him. He was a total hipster. However, tens of thousands of people shared his profile picture on their own page, with all the ‘this is the face of a killer’ labeling. Some of them were extremely vicious, and while I get it – they believed this guy had committed a heinous act – it was so unnecessary. Let’s pretend for a moment that he was the killer… he still has a family too. They have to suffer the fact that their loved one is dead himself, after taking the lives of so many innocents.

Then, they say that his mother, a teacher at the school, is among those who had their lives taken from them there.

Then they say one of the shooter’s brothers was found dead at home in NJ.

Then, the father is dead at home in CT.

Then they say the now-dead killer is Adam, and the one they took into custody was his brother Ryan, and that Adam had Ryan’s ID on him.

Then it turns out Ryan wasn’t there at all. Then all the news articles that wrote ‘sorry, wrong guy’ articles still used his profile pictures in the article, with screenshots of the page (because he either took it down or put it on privacy lockdown). Holy missing the point Batman. Do you see this guy right here? This one. He’s not the guy, guys. It wasn’t him. But, here, look at his pictures, even this one from six years ago. Here’s his friends list. Here are some recent status updates, as well as his friends’ responses. Oh Ryan. Normally I mock frivolous lawsuits, but frivolous this is not. Please sue the pants out whoever published your Facebook page first.

Then they say the father is not dead.

Then the other brother is not dead because there is no other brother. But, surprise! Ryan was picked up from his appartment in NJ. Had nothing to do with it. Can you imagine being harassed on FB by strangers while he was just trying to get home from work, gets to find out by police that his mother and brother are dead – and oh, by the way, you’re coming with us. He was questioned, but that was it.

This is where we find out that there was no second shooter at all, and most likely the info of him being detained and him declaring his innocence on Facebook became convoluted into the ‘a second shooter tells parents he didn’t do it’ story that they were peddling. Oh, and then we never hear anything more about his ID being on Adam.

Then the mother was not killed at school, but at home – still not clear if she and Adam lived together, because some reports say she was shot at his house, some say that he went to her house, some say that he killed someone he lived with.

There’s still this business about his girlfriend and another friend allegedly being missing, which keeps changing.

Oh, oh, and let’s not forget this gem, which Limasse just reminded me about. Someone actually said, out loud, that they were still trying to determine the timeline: Whether or not Mrs. Lanza was killed before or after the incident at the school. How the rest of the news room didn’t laugh out loud at this is beyond me. Gee, Inspector Clouseau, we have Mrs. Lanza, deceased, at home. We have the killer, dead, at he school. Unless he zombied his way to her house and then back to the school, I think we know which happened first.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Christ, my quarterly reports look like they deserve a Pulitzer compared to all this. Never in my life have I seen such shitty reporting. I think they only thing they got right were the unfortunate and tragic deaths.

And why are we interviewing the kids. First off, they’re not telling you anything that you don’t already know. Second, these kids are not trained in reporting information. I don’t want a second-grader telling me that “we, like, went into the corner of the room and, like, ducked,” is not you doing your job. And then, yes, a little bit a judging here: Why did the parents consent to the interview? If that were any one of my kids – if I was lucky enough to be one of the parents who got to leave with my child instead of with horrible, heartbreaking news – I would have gone straight home and locked the doors. I wouldn’t answer the phone or any emails. I might change my voicemail to indicate that everyone was safe, I can’t imagine how many phone calls I would get. But there’s not a freaking chance in hell I’d STAY THERE and let my kids talk to a reporter.

Honestly.  I know there was a clusterfuck of information, but you’d think someone would take the time to fact-check. I know that the media has turned into a business, and that everyone wants to be the first to have the info, but you’d think just one of them would want to be the first to have the right info.


Compare & Contrast



Busty Girl Problems: Jealousy


 

As a proud cardholder of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I’m tired of hearing the rest of you complain. I always get tickets and had to pay cover in bars.


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