Category Archives: celebrities

Celebrity Crushes 2012: Gentlemen

We all know how fun crushes can be, particularly the celebrity ones. They allow you the chance to daydream, to wonder what life would be like if one of these gentleman (or ladies) plucked you out of nobodydom to be their girl. Or guy. A lot of people will find that they had a celebrity crush for a certain period in their life, and when they see that crush now, are instantly transported to that time. Some of those crushes stand the test of time, as is the case for my number one and one of my honorable mentions.

Bring on the man candy!

Honorable Mention: Bug Hall, Lawrence brothers
When it comes to the Lawrence brothers, the Andrew crush is something new. Joe has been there ever since the first time he said “Whoa!” and Matt really hit the mark sometime during Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad.  I will never forget the days of the trio’s made for TV movies, and would probably pay money to help fund one to be made now. Joe’s recent venture with Melissa & Joey has sort of re-cemented him back in line, bringing his brothers with it.  As for Mr. Bug Hall (you all most likely know him as Alfalfa), I’m torn between this being an actual crush and a twist on bromance. I’m lucky enough to chat with him on occasionally via Twitter, which helps break down the wall between random citizen and relatively famous actor. When we engage in said conversation, I wish that we were besties and having these chats in person or by texting. I think he’d be awesome to hang out with, and to talk about what he’s been through in his life. A live chat with all his Twitter followers just isn’t enough. But either way, he has a charisma about him that makes me think I’d probably fall into his arms and swoon if we ever met, which is why he has earned an honorable mention on this list.

The following are technically ranked, although 2-6 can be somewhat interchangeable. I crush on them each for different reasons, and sometimes it just depends on my mood.

#6: David Henrie
This is where I admit that my newfound quasi-friendship with Bug Hall stemmed from obsessive behavior over Wizards of Waverly Place’s David Henrie. I was reading through Henrie’s Twitter and discovering who his friends were. From here, I ended up following Hall, initially for updates regarding Henrie, and pictures including him. Henrie’s posts, while entertaining and sometimes visually stimulating, ended up being easily read and dismissed by me (as opposed to many others’ posts, where I often want to reply to every single thing), and led me to wonder if this crush is based on simple appearance or substance. I mean, there’s no doubt that Henrie is funny, but I don’t know that much about him to give it much energy. While I look forward to seeing him accomplish many of the things that he has stated he plans to set out to do, I really view this as a straightforward hotness crush.

#5: Kellan Lutz
Emmett. Do I really have to say any more than this? It is the thing that he is most known for, although he has been in many other feature movies, like Immortals, as well as small roles in the comedies Accepted and Stick It. One of the exceptions to my glaringly obvious brunette type, Lutz is a natural blonde. In keeping with my preferences, however, I like him much better when his hair is brown or a dirty-blonde dark enough to look brown. Some would argue with me that he is actually much further up on my list than number five, but I have shamelessly pigeonholed him into a simple hot bod category. I admire his dedication to our canine friends (his stories about adopting his dogs makes me smile every time), and to other charitable projects such as the St. Bernard Project. He seems to be filled with a really intense inner joy, as I have yet to see him tweet something that was not inspirational or motivational in some way.

#4: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Talk about going around in circles. When I was young, I crushed on Joey Gordon-Levitt following, of course, 10 Things. It faded for a bit, as teenage celeb crushes are wont to do, when Gordon-Levitt himself faded from sight to attend school. With him back, and me crushing on him again, I have to say he mesmerizes me. What draws me to him is that he’s extremely attractive, but in a way that doesn’t overpower him, and this is what allows me to want to know more about him. I find hitRECord, an online collaborative production company that shares its profits with contributing artists, to be fascinating and gracious, and frankly, genius. It has been said that Gordon-Levitt does not like celebrity, and when you watch him in any interview appearance he does come across as very humble, and I believe this is what enables him to do the work that he does with hitRECord (which I recently joined). Can you imagine anyone else obtaining poetry and art from random artists across the country and not only sharing the profits with them, but allowing the original creators to maintain their own rights? For this, my crush on him comes from far more subtance, and therefore, he is the one who wavers the most in his position on this list.

#3: Ryan Reynolds
The only other true exception to my brunette rule and another example of physical appearance overwhelming pretty much everything else. While I find Reynolds hilarious, in both an acting capacity and in personality, I have no idea, nor can I garner one even from interviews, what kind of person he actually is. Whether this is me simply not caring to look past a pretty face or Reynolds himself purposely avoiding living his entire life in the public eye, I do not know. I also don’t know if I care. I fall all over myself trying to watch any movie that he’s in, even if it’s something I normally wouldn’t sit through. One of the things I do respect about him is that he doesn’t just frivolously give money away to a bunch of charities just for show. He supports the Micheal J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, and several years ago he ran the New York City Marathon for his father, who suffers from the disease. Similar to my admiration for Rosario Dawson, who supports causes that are personal to her, I respect that he chooses to focus on something that affects his life, whether directly or indirectly.

#2: Robert Downey Jr.
As friends of mine have said, this man has aged like a fine wine. To that, I add, a wine that I want to sip on all night long. I’m still not sure whether or not this particular crush is a testament to the fact that I am getting older and therefore my tastes are slowing shifting to more mature men (the median age of this list including honorable mentions being 32). When I watch movies from the late 90s, in which RDJ was the age that I am now, I don’t find him attractive in the least. It has been narrowed down, in his case, that it’s the difference between his smooth boyish looks to this more rugged appearance. To say I admire him may be a stretch, but I find it impressive that after years of drug use (his father used to make doing drugs a father-son activity) and the constant arrests for it, he was able to get his shit together and continue his career.

#1:  JC Chasez
No matter my age, no matter the amount of time that passes between the last Nsync album and JC’s own solo album and whatever ‘now’ is, this man will forever be at the top of this list, and even if he should fall, will never fall below the top three. It’s his voice. It’s the sheer, raw talent that pours forth every time he opens his mouth. It’s the way his music was there for me at times when nothing and no one was. It’s the way his verse in “This I Promise You” sends chills through me whenever I hear it. It’s the way he always played second fiddle to his bandmate without making it into a thing. In 2004 he promoted his album with a small club tour, and while I felt awful that he had just sold out a stadium and and arena the last times he came to town as a member of Nsync, and could barely pack this bar, I can easily say that no musical event has been better. The show was terribly publicized – I didn’t even know about it until three days prior – but that somehow made it even better. Hundreds of dollars could get you front row at Nsync, but that was nothing compared to being directly in front of that stage in the more intimate setting that the club allowed. When I shouted something inappropriate and he was both able to hear and and reply to me, it locked the night in place as surpassing my experiences at all four previous Nsync concerts, even PopOdyssey, and we know how amazing that performance was.

So… who are some of your top or enduring celebrity crushes?


Celebrity Girl Crushes: the 2012 Roundup

The girl-crush. We all have them. Some of us have them on people we actually know, and some of have them on celebrities. Admit that you have a girl-crush in front of a man, and it will take all of .4 seconds before the pool scenes from Wild Things start racing through his head. However, this is really not the case. In a sense, a girl crush is romantic but it’s not distinctly sexual. A girl-crush is about having an intense admiration for another female that borders on infatuation, without the creepy Single White Female undertones. You either want to be her best friend or you want to be her. At the very least, you want to spend time with her, and you want her to like you. It’s the counterpart to the bromance.

How can you tell if you have a girl-crush on someone you know? Wait until just the two of you are going out. Do you spend hours agonizing over what to wear? Do you wait to finish off your outfit until she arrives to pick you up, and you subtly match your look to hers? For instance: heels or flats. You could easily wear either, but you’re waiting to see which she is wearing. Flats? You slip into yours as if you were planning on wearing them all along.

Celebrity girl-crushes tend be more fleeting, as are celebrity crushes in general. In addition, since many of us do not actually become friends with celebs, the whole ‘wanting to be friends’ feeling wears off quickly and leaves the ‘wanting to be her,’ which can quickly become disheartening.

Following this logic, My celebrity girl-crushes do tend to change with the seasons, with the exception of my number one lady. She’s been my reigning #1 girl-crush for a long time. I don’t know why my flavors change so much, I only chalk it up to being straight, so it’s much easier to “let go,” for lack of a better way to explain getting over them.

Honorable Mention: Jessica Szohr, Anne Hathaway

This honor goes to these two both for beauty and brains, as well as humanitarianism. Hathway spoke in support of gay rights and said, “People who have said that I’m being brave for being openly supportive…I’m not being brave, I’m being a decent human being.” Boom. Say no more. When it comes to Szohr, who you may know from Gossip Girl and Love Wedding Marriage (in which she co-starred with a close third for the honorable mention, Mandy Moore, and a member of the Gentlemen ranking) is really more of just beauty to me. I openly admit that it’s mostly a physical attraction. She’s gorgeous.

#2: Emma Stone

There’s just something about Stone. I don’t know if it’s her acting, the way she seamlesses fits into whatever character she’s playing, or if it’s those eyes. Okay, it might be the eyes. And the husky voice. She’s like the Jane Russell of our time, in my opinion. I adored her in Crazy, Stupid, Love and really loved her in The Help and Spiderman. In general, I just find her to be the perfect mix of cute and beautiful (a reference from one of her movies), and I prefer the red or dark brown hair to her natural blonde.

#1: Rosario Dawson

Oh, my queen. Anyone who doesn’t put this woman on the top of any list, girl-crush, straight man crush, full-on lesbian crush, and I don’t even know what, needs to have their eyes checked. Look at her. She’s got a nerd side (including creating a graphic novel), which is incredibly sexy, a regular sexy side, and the woman spoke at an Obama inaugural celebration at the Lincoln Memorial. She supports a number of charities, such as and the Lower East Side Girls Club, as well as sitting on the V-Day board. In all honesty, this is the one girl-crush that probably crosses the line from admiration into pure infatuous lust. Can you blame me?

Others who missed being on the honorable mention list, in addition to Mandy Moore, include Scarlett Johannsen, Adele, America Ferrera, and Angelina Jolie. The first three make the cut based on their dedication to keeping their curves, and when it comes to Jolie, I find myself inspired by her humanitarian work.

New Old Maid to Add to the Deck

Seriously, I remember the old maid in the deck looking a little something like Mrs. Crumplebottom (Sims2 players know who I mean). But for some reason, despite a life expectancy nowadays that would make us octogenarians before the reaper comes for us, being single in your 40s (in some cases, your 30s, sheesh) automatically puts you in the Old Maid category.

What the unholy shit?

I really don’t care for Jennifer Aniston. I’m not very impressed by her acting, and I do agree that she’s kind of boring. Interviews with her are so generic and lame that it makes me wonder if the entire thing isn’t 100% scripted. But for real, independent and filthy rich, living a life filled with extravagance, Aniston seems to have it made, in my opinion. Apparently, there’s some formula that women are supposed to follow to have a happy life, and by not being married or having children, Aniston is freaking everyone out by not conforming. Instead of furnishing a nursery, she dropped 21 mil on and 8,500 square foot mansion (with a vineyard), and that is just unacceptable!

I once read an article about her online, where one of the commentors said, “I’m tired of hearing about this woman and her mediocre career. Write about her when she does something worthwhile, like get married or have kids.”  Because, you know, the only worthwhile thing a woman can do with her life is get married and have kids. Nothing at all worthwhile about being a movie and TV star and having your own production company.

Aniston allegedly turned down Justin Theroux’s (who, to this day, I only know as the Irish mob guy Seamus from Charlie’s Angels 2. Oh, and I just realized that he wrote the screenplay to Iron Man 2) proposal because she felt that he did it under pressure, that it wasn’t legit. And everyone gave her shit for it! Wouldn’t we rather her be engaged to someone who proposed in an actual romantic moment (even if it’s just romantic for them) than popping the question as a knee-jerk reaction?

The answer is probably no. Much the same way everyone asks the single woman “What was wrong with him?” when she breaks it off with a guy after a short time. Unless he did something explicitly “wrong,” the rest of the world can’t even imagine why a woman would choose to be single over being with a man that she had no feelings for. I personally run into this with every one of my friends.

Let’s say I have a date with… Pete (I’ve forgotten his name by now). He’s a super nice guy, but incredibly, amazingly dull. And a little socially backward. Not even awkward, but backward. Typical expressions and phrases were lost on him. For example:
I was telling him about a recent wedding I was going to be in that was subsequently cancelled, which is what left me available to have lunch with him that day. The wedding fell apart because there was so much fighting between the bride and groom over lack of organization, one of the major sources of disorganization was because “there were twenty people standing up” in it. Pete asked why there were so many people standing up, and I said I had no idea, but I thought the couple was in love with the idea of a big flashy wedding because they weren’t really that in love with each other. Pete looked confused for a second, then said, “So twenty people were planning to object to the wedding because they don’t think the couple is in love?”  At this point, it was my turn to be confused. First off, they don’t even do that objection part in most weddings anymore. It took me a few more minutes to realize that he thought ‘standing up’ at a wedding mean objecting to it, not being in the wedding party. When I explained what I meant, he told me that he had never heard that expression before.

I gave it a second lunch… and it was more of the same. He has no idea what movies were out. In and of itself, this is not a big deal – a lot of people don’t know what movies are out at any given time. However in this case, he had to have lived under a rock. I don’t remember right now which movie it was, but it was the equivalent of the Avengers marketing earlier this year or… Magic Mike. Or the Twilight Saga movies. I’m talking huge marketing campaigns that you couldn’t go anywhere without knowing about. The way Twilight: Eclipse was doing marketin around Eclipse gum, or Dr. Pepper featured Avenger characters. There was no way, short of living underground in some capacity with absolutely zero social or media interaction, that you couldn’t know that this particular movie was out. I have a vague memory that it was Sex & the City, so let’s just pretend that it was. The conversation was basically him asking me what I was doing the rest of the day (I don’t know if it was simple curiosity or if he was trying to extend the date), and my reply was, “I’m going with some friends to dinner and then to Sex & the City.”

He asked me what that was.

Pete didn’t know what Sex & the City was. Which had to mean he had either never ever turned on a TV, never gone to the grocery store and saw magazines in the checkout aisle.  Between this and the wedding expression, I had to wonder if he had any social interaction with any human other than his mother, ever.

So when I declined his invitation for a third lunch (and he was all about lunches. No dinners, just lunches), I had at least five people ask me what the problem was, and tell me that I would never find anyone if I kept being so picky. In short, it was somehow my fault that I wasn’t interested in this guy. The very fact that I’m writing this demonstrates that I am all about social interaction, so what in any God of any faith’s name would make anyone think I would be happy with someone like this?

I never in my life thought that I would liken myself to Jennifer Aniston, but damn, just because we’re not married or pumping out kids doesn’t mean that we’re not doing anything with our lives.

The Sanctity of ‘Sanctity’

Let’s take a moment and focus on these definitions, particularly that second one. The ultimate importance. So, let’s play a game called The Ultimate Importance of Marriage. What is the ultimate importance of marriage? Is it not two adults who love each other and who have chosen to join their lives and forge a new life together? Two people who want to commit to one another for the rest of their lives? Because that’s what I always thought it was.

And yet… it’s couples who are of the same sex that want to be married that are trouncing on that?

So Britney Spears and her 55 hour marriage supported the sanctity of marriage? Women in Utah have to wait longer than that to get an abortion.  Kim Kardashian’s 72 days? Most people have to wait longer than that to get full benefits at a new job. Most manicures last longer than the late, great Dennis Hopper’s 1970 marriage to Mamas and Papas singer Michelle Phillips: 8 days.

How about Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman’s five-month marriage? Or Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney:  They met in January 2005. Five months later they were married. Four months later they announced plans for an annulment. Drew Barrymore, whom I adore immensely, was married for a mere 32 days from March to April of 1994.

Movies like What Happens in Vegas, and even in a late ’93 episode of “Blossom,” show us men and women who have never met before getting married and then making a go of it. I’ve never seen What Happens in Vegas, as I don’t care much for Cameron Diaz, so I have no idea what the outcome was (I can only assume they live happily ever after), but I do recall Tony and Shelley becoming a great couple and eventually having a baby. However, we all know it really doesn’t happen like that.

Frankly, I see this as nothing more than blatant abuse of privilege. Us straight folks can just go off and marry whomever we want, whenever we want. It’s our right, damnit! But if the absolute love of your life, the person you’ve sacrificed everything to be with, built a home with, has the same parts as you, you get nothing (unless you’re lucky enough to live in the six states that have common sense and decency).

Sanctity of marriage? What about the sanctity of human rights?

Zombocalypse Zurvival

Yeah yeah, lame title, but I really couldn’t help but be that kitschy. It was just there.

I have many different books and TV shows that I always want to talk about, but I’ve finally gotten to a point that I absolutely have to talk about the Walking Dead, and my own plans in the case of the dreaded zombie apocalypse.

First off – and if any of you spills the beans I will kill you – I watched the season finale today, even though I did promise my friend I would wait until Tuesday to watch it with him. I even went so far as to delete the recording, but alas, AMC likes to show it over and over and over, so I did catch it anyway. Frankly, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stay away long enough to wait two entire days.

So, as one who has not read the comic but knows people who do, my opinion of the show is pretty straightforward, and only occasionally littered with the typical “that’s not how it’s supposed to go.”  I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it (nowhere near the relationship I had with Lost) but it’s mild. Love far outweighs the hate. The only hate I have now is that amount of central and just almost central characters who died in such a short time. And Carl’s obnoxious impetulence. Both of these things are included in the official rules of the apocalypse that my friend and I have been compiling.

I can’t even allow myself to get fully into the finale today, because if I start, I’ll end up fleshing things out and then when I talk about it with my friend I’ll totally give away the fact that I had a couple days to think about it. So I’ll only say this: WHO DRIVES AN RV UP TO A SHIT-TON OF ZOMBIES WITH DOORS AND WINDOWS OPEN! Oh I can’t handle it.

Now, let’s talk about our plans for survival. Our crew will be small. It has to be. Less liabilities. Pharmacies and Kmart (because everyone will be at Walmart) will be raided for medicine and weaponry, as well as other supplies. No bleeders will be allowed on my watch, so all forms of contraception will be taken from the pharmacy, and they will be abused – placebo week will not be taking place. If there are any children or anyone with shitty, shitty accuracy in the group, they will be armed with paintball guns. Anyone who’s ever been hit with a good-sized paintball knows how much it hurts, and has probably had the thought cross their mind that they were about to lose a limb. Sooo… if this can slow down an ambler for even just a second, giving someone else time to put one through their head, this is a major benefit, and avoids getting taken down by friendly fire.

Many distractive things will be obtained, flares, fireworks, kids toys, anything that will cause misdirection. Traps will be set. Safe houses will be scouted. Please note the plural. We won’t get hemmed up at a farm. Safe houses will be disposable, and not accessible from the ground floor except by retractable ladder/fire escape, with more than one of these access points. When it comes to vehicles, we are aiming for both heft and manueverability, as well as gas mileage. No RVs, but I would like to take over an armored money truck, just for the fortress aspect, and it would have to be fitted in the front with a snow plow, the v-shaped kind.  Other possible vehicles potentially include the H3, just due to its lack of bulk, and small hybrids. The larger trucks will be for serious relocation, the smaller cars for quick runs for supplies; all will be eqipped with barred windows.

I’m starting to get more creative when it comes to homemade weapons, both from playing (see also: watching my friend play) many different zombie video games, and from discussing plans with other people, and I’d like to believe I can actually build those things in the stress of the situation should it actually arise. Note to self: at least one member of crew must have some type of mechanical or engineering knowledge.

Oh… one more Walking Dead thing… I would need to meet someone like Daryl, maybe our group runs into his and we all befriend each other, and he would become my knight in rusty armor. Take a zombie out with a crossbow and rescue me on the back of a motorcycle, please.

The Birth of the Puma: This is all your fault, David Henrie

On the cusp of turning thirty  – cusp meaning in about eight months – shut up I have four years of experience being twenty-five, damnit – I have found myself in a very weird spot.

Again, it is public fodder that I would probably end up on some kind of sex offender registry if I ever get near Kellan Lutz, after all of the imaginatively freaky things I want to do to him… just wrap my legs around his… I digress. Although just hearing his name induces an array of lusty thoughts to go racing through my head, I have also come around to the likes of more mature actors, like Clooney and Damon. Even Leo didn’t appear on my hot radar until sometime after Titanic, when he lost the baby-face and his man-face had grown in. Then there’s the always amazing Robert Downey, Jr. When the fuck did this guy get so hot? He’s almost 50! Dude aged like a fine wine, and I just want to sip on it all night.

So I had this exchange with Kim the other day, told her that as of late, I’ve been finding graying hair at the temples and a few lines on the face hotter and hotter each day. I followed that with a “help me”. I had to wonder, does this mean I’m  – gasp – getting old? Have I finally come around from looking for a guy to spend the weekend banging to looking for a guy with whom to start a family? Dear Sweet Jesus, noooooo! Someone, please, hit the snooze button on my biological clock!

Then came the transition into a puma (this was far less disturbing than Natalie Portman becoming a swan, for the record. That movie made me so happy I quit dancing). One night, I was bored. I know, this is the worst way to start a story, as nothing good can happen next. I had finally watched everything on my DVR – I had movies on there from one of Showtime’s free weekends… from 2009 – had deleted the ‘record series’ settings for shows my nephew no longer watches (that child is so spoiled by me. 15% of my storage is the Backyardigans and Team Umizoomi), had finished all the coding for my fiction site, had even written a few articles and characterizations for Popmundo.  The TV was already on the Disney channel, having recently recorded both Phineas & Ferb and Criminal Minds (if my DVR records are ever subpoenaed, people are going to get concerned) so it had autoswitched to Disney whilst I was working through the recorded stuff.  Again, I was bored, and having nothing else to do or the motivation to bother finding another channel to watch, I just watched what was on.

It was Wizards of Waverly Place.

I’d heard of the show in the past, looked like it was simply a cutesy Harry Potter (and there are, in fact, many HP references and in-jokes, and I am also witness to a Breakfast Club reference in the form of “Can you describe the ruckus?”), and I knew that it stared Selena Gomez. However, after that episode I watched, I had several things to say.

First off, when the hell did Disney get a monopoly on (mostly) male actors who are way too hot playing characters that are years younger than their real age?

Second, do they know that they are creating a generation of pumas?

For those of you unfamiliar with the term (which should be all of you, as I’m coining it right now), The Puma is the earlier version of the Cougar. Scientifically, there is no difference between a puma, mountain lion, panther, or catamount (yeah I know, what the shit is a catamount?) but realistically, you draw up a different image in your head when you hear each word. By the way, if/when I am a full-grown cougar, I will prefer to take on the title of panther instead, as it has the connotation of being slick and seductively badass. The Puma strikes me as younger and agile, most likely due to the clothing brand of the same name. Therefore, a woman in her thirties, particularly early thirties, going after younger men, will hereby be known as a Puma™.

Yeah, that’s right. Trademarked that shit.

Anyway… Luckily for any non-ADHD-addled insomniac children everywhere, two episodes of WoWP air back-to-back at midnight, and two more air at 3am. Always a plus. I have never in my life enjoyed a show that was so clearly aimed a much younger demographic than myself as much as I like this one. And it’s not just me! Not only did I get a particularly cynical guy here at work hooked on it when I was watching it during a system outage (it’s one of the few websites that isn’t blocked), but I went to IMDb and flipped through some of the reviews, and found it’s all like-minded older folk like myself. Even the lame jokes, the ones that are glaringly dumbed down for children, hit the mark. I literally – and I mean literally by actual definition, not by teen standards of not really at all – laugh out loud. I find myself hitting my 30 second replay button on the remote multiple times during an episode just to catch a joke or funny fall over again. [Note: If I find it online I’ll put one of the funniest Justin-Alex exchanges here that I watched at least seven times in a row, one that also demonstrates what I am about to mention next].

What I love second best about the show, is the fact that there is not one ounce of shitty acting (I’ll admit to my Secret Life of the American Teenager habit here, even if it boasts the worst acting in the world) and you can’t help but love every character. My favorite aspect of this is that several characters remind you a little bit of characters/actors from other shows, and not in a crappy knock-off way, but almost in an homage-y way. Alex (Selena Gomez) is like a combination of Lorelai Gilmore and the sister from Mike & Molly. Justin (David Henrie) is the adorable spawn of Cory Matthews and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother (the coincidence – not irony – here being that David Henrie also played the son during the Bob Saget narratives on HIMYM). I adore Max (Jake Austin) because I think that’s what my nephew is going to be like as he gets older, and then Harper (Jennifer Stone) is totally Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds before she became a hacker.

As I said, that’s what I like second best. What I like best is David Henrie.


You know what I'm thinking about with the second picture...


All I can say is Wow. He’s still hot even with the cut lines at the hips, and you know how grossed out I am by those.

As is my sense of timing with the majority of the shows I watch – I didn’t start watching HIMYM until season five, I just started watching the Big Bang Theory, Gilmore Girls was season four, Supernatural was three, Criminal Minds three or four… I suck at life with this – the episode of WoWP that I watched was the third to last episode EVER. Yeah. I’m that good. I was in luck, however, as this week is the Every Wizards Ever Made marathon, so I get the chance to see them all. This is both entertaining and incredibly awful for me. Why awful, you ask? I’ll tell you:

In the earlier episodes – even though I have done the math and in those eps Henrie is 17, which IS the age of consent in New York – the character is like 15 and it makes me feel very weird about myself.

Anyway, let’s talk more about David Henrie. Why? Because I have turned into a full-on puma™ over this kid. Seven years my junior, he’s currently 22, which is just fine for me, means he can go out and drink with me (good luck though, kid, I’m German and Irish), and it seems like it would be a blast to do so: As evidenced here. However, this comes just weeks after my having decided that 26 was my new ‘you must be this old to go on this ride’ age, and days after I extended the maximum to 40 (I knoooowwww!). But I figure if I will allow some people from outside that box on the older side – Downey, Jr. is going to be 47. If he divorces his wife and knocks on my door… Well, I won’t finish that statement, but you know where I’m going with this  – then I will have to allow some from the younger side to experience this too.

My work daughter and I have all of the same major celeb crushes (except she’s a Timberlake girl, for which I’ve forgiven her, where I’m Chasez all the way) and she told me she would fight me over Downey, Jr. Now, in a common sense fantasy world, it would seem more logical for me to concede Henrie to her and take Downey for myself, as she’s a mere 20 years old … but alas, I told her she could take Downey and I’ll beat her down for Henrie. What could have motivated this? Yes, that’s right, puma™ power.

Curse you, David Henrie, for being so hot in all your youngness. Holler (yes, I say the R, I’m from suburbia) at me if you ever come to Buffalo. We could have lots and lots of… fun. Yeah. That’s it. Fun.

Note 1:  I recently tweeted this TO David Henrie. I’m sure I’ll turn up on Inside Edition or something.

Note 2: If you watch the video that I linked, it’s funny because in Italian, potato is a slang word for the hooha. Thank you, Italian sister in law. Also, when Lorenzo says his favorite movie is Il Padrino, and then paparazzi guy says I never heard of it then proceeds to say his favorite is the Godfather… They actually just named the same movie. Love it.

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