Tag Archives: pregnant

Oooh… Boy or Girl, Here We Go Again.


First off, this is a pretty big secret for the next 12 hours, as my mother in law has yet to be told…

But I am expecting #3.

And I’m happy about it, but all the same, it was a HUGE shock. I’m one of those crazy “set an alarm so I don’t miss a pill, make him wear protectection if I’m late even taking the pill” crazies… so, yeah.

I have discovered morning sickness this time around… shoot me. I’ve got food aversions coming out the ying yang, and the only things I want to eat are veggies and multigrain foods. Hippy food, as my husband calls it. Meat grosses me out, I had a craving (Cravings! Already!) for sausages last night, that was quickly changed when I went to the meat counter, looked at them and just about threw up. So much for that… Now even writing this has my stomach protesting food. Yuck.

We’ve already begun the naming war (He hates Drew for a girl’s name, I’m not 100% sold on “Zoie” being spelled like that, because it doesn’t match our kids’ names at all…) That being said, the war on names hasn’t even started…

We got married AFTER having the other 2, and even though we knew we were getting married one day, we gave them my maiden name. The other day we went for a drive, and I asked what the baby’s last name would be, (given that the other two have my name.) He looked at me and said “Well, (maiden name), of course! Why have them all have different names?? That makes no sense… I’m not going to force my last name on them! They can change their names to mine later if they want.” Awesome. I married an awesome guy, and I appreciate that he’s willing to do that for us, and for our kids…  I don’t think his mother will appreciate this though… See, my husband is the only son of an only son, and therefore the last of his line… I’m sure his mother has thought of this. Not only that, but when we told her that I was pregnant the last time, she didn’t hesitate to say “Well, I’m not used to the idea of people having babies before they are married like this, It isn’t right. Are you sure you don’t just want to have a quicky wedding before the baby so we can call it a __________??” (Good old Catholics, huh? Her, as well as my stepdad, were raised severe Catholic, so sometimes… they have wisdom I’d rather not hear…) So, to hear that her son is going to have a baby and he and his WIFE are going to choose the wife’s maiden name for the child… well, this is going to be fun.We’ll hopefully be telling her about the baby later today. Hubby says we should wait until the baby is born before we drop the name bomb… but I think it could be fun to do it earlier rather than later. I have to admit that occasionally I enjoy poking the proverbial religious bear like that:)

 

 

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You’re a Woman? Then You Are Always Pregnant


Classic Arizona. First is the allowing doctors to lie to parents about the health of their baby in order to prevent them from seeking an abortion – which again, allows the doctor to just assume that all parents will seek abortion if they find out their baby will have health issues, and this only proves that state legislators would seek abortions in this case, as it’s the only reason they would just assume everyone else would; and also prevents parents from mentally preparing for the work ahead; also potentially threatens the life of the mother. I’m sorry, but if my baby is slowing killing me from the inside out… I can continue to live and try again, no sense in us both dying.

But no, as if that wasn’t bad enough, now they’ve expressly stated that life does not begin at conception – no – it begins on the FIRST DAY of your last period. So what this means, is that the same day that most women regard with either relief or regret that they’re not pregnant, is actually the first day of your pregnancy.

In other words… you are always pregnant. You wake up on Thursday, feeling a little gross, go to the bathroom, and there it is. Yes! You’re not pregnant. Damnit, you’re already pregnant, just in case you get a little frisky in two weeks. It’s fair. We’re all about gender equality, right? Well, guys have premature ejaculation, so we get premature pregnancy.

Yes, most OB/GYN’s start the clock from the the date of the LMP (last monthly period), and this is where we get that pregnancy is actually 10 months, not 9, but they use that as the estimate. For instance, you likely conceived anywhere from two weeks after that date. So while you may be 7 weeks into the pregnancy, your baby’s gestational age will be estimated at 5.

What this means, is that in Arizaon, abortions are effectively banned after 18 weeks, as opposed to the “on the books” 20 weeks. Because, you know after 20 weeks is when the fetus can feel pain, as they’ve all reported to doctors from inside the womb.

What we should do is pit AZ against other states that require ultrasounds. Clearly, if a woman can tell you when her last period was, then she doesn’t need an ultrasound. Also, how does this affect women with irregular periods? What about the woman who still get their periods for a couple months even after they’re pregnant? The fact that AZ is willing to take an OB/GYN calculation and explicitly state, legally, that it’s when life begins, is insane. Granted, only 1% of abortions take place past that timeframe, so technically this doesn’t have that much of an effect, but it does set a precedent. What’s next?

Other parts of the law include, but at not limited to:  education in public schools that prioritizes birth and adoption;  an order for the state health department to maintain a website displaying images of fetuses; and abortion counseling for women aiming to abort pregnancies due to fetal abnormalities, including perinatal hospice information before ending the pregnancy. It also reaffirms existing barriers to access, like the requirement of a notarized parental consent form for minors and a mandatory ultrasound screening within 24 hours of having an abortion.

If life begins when you’re bleeding, how long until birth control, including condom and emergency contraception, are illegal?

 

 


It’s Not a War on Women: It’s Uterus Envy


As per usual, the menfolk want to think they know best about our reproductive rights. In Arizona, a bill that actually made it out of committee addresses the completely nonexistent problem of abortion based on the race or sex of the fetus.

The Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act initally reads as exactly what it pretends to be, protecting a potential baby from discrimination. But then it moves on to a section that says the father can take civil action against the woman if he believes she is pursuing an abortion based on race or sex.

I’m sorry, what?

First of all, the majority of abortions in the US are done during the first trimester, at which point it is too early to even determine sex. So, let’s rule that out. Secondly, who in the hell is going to a sonogram like, if this is a girl, she’s getting the boot.

And that’s half of this bill shut down.

Now let’s talk about race. Let’s say I’m racist against Hispanics, so I’m going to abort this Hispanic fetus. Wait a minute. If I hate Hispanics, why did I sleep with one? Is this a new belief that I suddenly took on?

You can say rape may be an issue, but let’s say a whitey-hating black woman gets attacked while she’s ovulating, and the hospital-administered emergency contraception doesn’t work (or worse, she doesn’t even report it). A few weeks she realizes she’s pregnant and calls and makes the appointment. Is she doing it only because she hates whitey? Oh you think so? So she’s not at all doing it because she was already violated in the worst imaginable way and now she’s having to deal with having her body hijacked again?

The craziest part about this whole scenario is that if a man brings a case against a woman, it could go on and on and on, until a point where she wouldn’t even be able to have an abortion. How the hell do you prove a woman is seeking an abortion based on race or sex?  How? Tell me. Like Tom Price said, “show me one woman.”

What’s next? A man starts a relationship with a woman, not knowing that she’s on the Pill, and a year later sues her because she hasn’t let him knock her up?

If we disect the religious side of things, we’re left in a circle of contradictive dogma (shocking, I know). The thing that makes me laugh about most religion-based arguments against birth control is this:   Because birth control prevents a ‘life’ from being created, it is immoral.

Okay, that’s all well and good, but, having a natural menstrual cycle and not having sex – living by the ‘correct’ standards – do the same thing.

In the perfect Catholic world (I use Catholic because I myself am a recovering Catholic and it’s what I know most about, not to mention, in this great BC debate, Catholic leaders seem to be the loudest), no one would ever use birth control and no unmarried ladies are having sexy time. Well, every month her body is evicting an egg – a potential life – and laughing in the face of these standards.

In Genesis 38, Onan was instructed by God to impregnate his dead brother’s wife, and every time they lay together, he let his semen spill to the ground. He was punished, yes, but for his act of rebellion against God, not for his contraceptive act.

Listen up men. Do you even know how birth control works? It prevents ovulation from even happening, thus, not wasting an egg, or our seed, but this is bad.

Really, the very act of choosing a celibate lifestyle prevents you from ever reproducing, so, by that belief, aren’t religious leaders like nuns and priests just going against everything right from the get-go?

Here’s what it is: Uterus envy. All these men are tired of centuries of not having the same reproductive organs as we possess, and they’ve just watched us blatantly ignore their functions. What they’re thinking is, “Why do these bitches get to have all this stuff, those ovaries, that uterus that they don’t even use?” And instead of simply evolving and growing one of their own, they want to punish us by forcing us to use ours to their fullest extent.


The Gestation Game


The pregnancy pact. It’s easily the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. It actually made me sick. When I was in high school, I barely cared if my Nano Baby survived one of my soccer games, and I damn sure couldn’t take care of a real one. I probably still can’t.

Even worse, and possibly more annoying than a pact, is the Gestation Race. From what I’ve seen, it looks like the age at which this is most prevalent is with girls in their very early twenties. Note, specifically that I said girls, not women, because there is a huge difference (but that’s an article for another day) and I’m not talking about women in this situation.

The Gestation Race is a competition, usually inside one group of friends, to see who gets pregnant first. The rules to this game are tricky, because technically the first girl to get pregnant isn’t the winner. That honor is actually bestowed upon the first girl to get knocked up after that (hereby referred to as Girl 2). You’ve seen this in action, not knowing what it was, but now that I’ve enlightened you, you’ll never be able to unsee it.

In general, the point to this game is about proving that they’re in an amazing relationship, where there’s so much love that it has to manifest itself physically (because that’s what a baby should be).

Look how well that usually works out for everyone.

Story: at the age of 19, “Amanda” found out she was pregnant. Two months later, one of her other friends, also 19, became pregnant. Several months later, two more girls within that circle announced they were also expecting, and over the course of the next few months, the number seemed to double. Inside of one year, nine girls, all in the same little group, were all in the family way or taking care of a newborn.

What is going on? Well, when “Amanda” first got over the shock, she became excited, and happy, and her bad-boy boyfriend was all “Yay!” Girl 2 saw this “success” and told herself that she had to have it too. At this point I’d like to indicated that of the girls in this circle that I actually know personally, none of them is in any was a bad mother, however they all have families to support them, and most of them are still at home to rely on those families. Some of them would not make it if they were actually doing it on their own. They all had other plans, going to school, finding a better or “real” job, and all of them were utilizing birth control and taking preventative measures to avoid pregnancy, thus indicating that a baby was not a part of the immediate plan… right up until they saw someone else having a baby. So, while I use “success” in quotes, it’s not to imply that “Amanda” has not succeeded in life; she has since dropped the loser sperm donor and gone on to the career that she originally set out for, all with the assistance of family; but that not every story turns out like hers. Some of the girls are miserable because they don’t have a support system to help them out. I digress…

Girl 2, and 3, and all the rest, looked at what “Amanda” had at the time (the doting boyfriend, the cute baby-bump), and said, “I have to have that, because my self-worth and my relationship with this idiot is completely shot, but I don’t want anyone to know that I’m failing, so having a baby will validate everything. It will prove that we’re actually in love, and that I’m awesome because people will fawn all over me wherever I go.”

How’s that single parenting working out for you?

What’s that, you’re too hungover to deal with her today? Well, no one told you that you had to have a kid. You chose to miss a few pills. Oh, you want me to watch your son so you can attend the party? No, sorry, I’m going to that party too, and since I have no outstanding obligations, I can stay all night. Awww, so sorry to hear that you ‘can never do anything’. Didn’t you get the memo? Your kid comes first. This is why your parents joke that they “used to have a life before we had you.” You put yourself in this position when you opted to create life with someone that you’ve known all of four months.

And let’s not forget about the guys in this situation. The girls all feigned surprise when there were two lines, or a plus, or a yes, or however the positive result came up on whatever test they took, but the guy were genuinely taken by surprise. On one hand, yes, if they ended up bailing, I think they suck, but on the other, if they were completely blindsided by something that they’d been led to believe was not going to happen, well… I feel bad for them.

Now, I’m by no means a full traditionalist. I’ve never believed you have to be married to have children. In fact, I shocked my grandmother into silence once when she cornered me at Thanksgiving and told me I needed to hurry up and get married and have kids because she “expect[ed] to be a great-grandmother by the time [she] die[s].” I told her that the marriage part was something I couldn’t rush, I had no control over that, but I could, if she really wanted me to, go out the following weekend when I was ovulating, and copulate with every guy that wanted to, and produce a great-grandchild for her the following fall. The look of pure appall that she gave me was beautiful, and she’s never mentioned it since. I fully plan on procreating by the time I turn 32, married or not (this used to be 30, but when I turned 27 I realized how soon that really was, pushed it back two years. Every year I get older, I’ll probably push it back another year). Granted, I would prefer to be married, or at least in a very committed relationship (like engaged), because I’m a big fan of sharing the responsibility. But, if I’m not, and I will make a withdrawal from a sperm bank, or explain to my boyfriend or whoever I’m sleeping with that I’m looking to have a baby, and I’m completely prepared to go solo, so it’s up to him whether he wants to participate. The reason I have no qualms about doing it alone is because I am already planning for it. I am a fully grown adult, and at that point everything else in my life will be in order, ready to dedicate all necessary time to my child. Also, in the interest of being honest, the reason I keep pushing to the year back is because I’m allowing time for a committed relationship to form.

Please note, that I am not, in any way, trying to demean or in any way insult anyone who is in their early twenties, and a mature woman (not girl), who did actively try to conceive with their spouse (although I think you’re crazy for being married so young, but again, another article for another day).

That being said, I do fully advise against having a child with someone you’re not living with, or with someone you’re not even considering living with. If you’re not living with them, there’s probably a reason (and if it’s because you can’t afford to move out of your parents house… exactly how much do you think a child costs?). If you can’t even imagine sharing the remote with this person, how are you going to share a child? If you’ve been dating someone for a few months and you want to see how they really fell about you, come down with a cold and evaluate how they treat you, don’t get inseminated by them. Start small girl; baby steps. Pun very much intended.


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